Monday, May 23, 2011

Are your friends DREAM KILLERS or DREAM INSTILLERS??

Do you think it’s possible for me to be a millionaire in six years?  Do you think it’s possible for me to get into Harvard medical school?  Do you think it is possible for me to start an international engineering firm?  If I asked you these questions, what would your answer be?  If you answered NO to the following questions, then you are what I label a DREAM KILLER.  Please don’t get offended, just continue reading and I would explain.
In each one of the previous questions, I had a friend approach me telling me about their aspirations.  For the friend that told me he wanted to be a millionaire, I told him to get financially educated so he can work towards his goals.  For the friend that approached me about medical school, I told him to study hard so he can receive the necessary grades to get into Harvard.  For the friend that told me he wanted to start an international engineering firm, I told him to seek knowledge in his specialty, so his firm will be the brightest in the field.  In each one of the examples, I was being a dream INSTILLER!  The sky is the limit.   Imagine if I had a negative attitude and laughed at their aspirations.  I probably would have discouraged them and stopped them from pursing their dreams.   As dream INSTILLERS, we should always be there for our friends when they are working towards their goal.  The world already has enough distractions, so why should we add to the fire.  Don’t get me wrong, when you see a friend slacking or being lazy, you should put them in their place and hold them accountable for striving to achieve their dreams.   When friends are going through their ups and downs when pursing their dreams, it is these times that they need that shoulder to lean on to help them through the struggles.  When your friend suffers a setback, you shouldn’t say…”See I told you so”, but more like “We are going to get through this!”
 People are greatly affected by other people’s opinions.  I once read that it takes 17 positive comments to compensate for ONE negative comment made.  Imagine a girl told me I was ugly; it would take 17 other girls to tell me I am handsome in order for me to get over that one negative comment!  I am not sure of the accuracy of these numbers, but it will give you a glimpse on the importance of being positive.  If you have a friend that is really excited about an idea, hear them out and don’t shoot them down if you don’t have any concrete facts to support your opinion.  It is amazing how so many people say an idea is bad because they are completely ignorant about the subject or they don’t have enough courage to try it themselves.  If I say I want to be a real estate investor, don’t tell me that it is a bad idea if you never sold a house in your life.  Just because you hear Fox News give their gloomy real estate forecast or you hear Uncle Willie’s bad experiences dealing with tenants, that doesn’t justify you being able to give valid real estate advice.   Sometimes it is just best for individuals to simply be quiet if they do not have knowledge on a specific subject.
For the dream chasers, watch your surroundings.  Having a negative friend can be detrimental to your success.   Surround yourself with like minded individuals who will help INSTILL your dream instead of KILL your dream. 
Like always I will leave you with a quote from a very wise man …”Men take on the nature and the habits and the power of thought of those with whom they associate in a spirit of sympathy and harmony.”..Napoleon Hill